Prepping

I've bought my ticket. On Expedia, so I don't actually have it in-hand, to fondle and read and re-read and lose and panic about and find again and all the other little rituals that should go with it. But the money's come out of the account, the confirmation email is in my inbox, so I guess it's happened. It's real. I'm committed.

When they first said "pack your bags", I went into a state of shock. Kept expecting something to come up, some kind of "Well, let's have a phone interview" or having them contact various of my references. I kept waiting for something to come up that would mean I couldn't do it. At first I was almost hoping something would; better to be unable to try than to try and fail, right? But gradually I came back to remembering that this really was my dream, and just because it could be real, didn't make it less of a dream.

It still is hard to believe it's real, though. I'm sitting here in Edmonds, the sky is grey and our brief hot spell has gone, replaced with cool and fog. The chickadees are at the suet, and there's a hint of fall in the air. The world of chocolate rivers and huge spiders and thunder and heat and otters seems like a fantasy world; I devour all the pictures I can find but I know nothing is going to prepare me for when I actually arrive, and can smell the air, and feel the weather, when even the bugs underfoot will be species I've never seen before, and I'll hear the birdcalls and not be able to recognize them all. Far more exciting and daunting, to me, than not being able to speak the language of humans. Heck, I can barely understand a lot of humans anyway. But to see a plant or an insect or a bird or reptile and -not know what it is-... whether it is rare or common, harmless or dangerous... that's going to be amazing. I've tried to find books on the flora and fauna to prepare but all I can find are local field guides. Even "birds of North America" is going to be pretty useless.

I shopped for computers. There doesn't seem to be an option for a keyboard that bugs can't get into.